Monthly Archives: August 2007

Handymen are Gods

Handymen are Gods. Truly.
Don’t know if you’ve ever lived in a condo or apartment building, but usually there is a handyman that works in the building. He is a generalist, and basically is multi-talented and has been there for many years, if not decades. Because he has worked in that building for years, he usually has managed to become an expert in fixing everything.
Yes I mean everything.
There is a handyman in my NYC apartment building who once fixed my microwave. One day, it just decided to stop throwing microwaves around its chamber. It would turn on, but nothing would actually heat up in the oven. So I call the handyman over and he takes a look at it, and then tells me he needs to go downstairs to get something and he’ll be right back. He returns a short while later with a circuit board which looks scavenged from another microwave. He then opens up the microwave, unplugs the wires of the old circuit board, removes it and then sticks in the new one. He closes up the microwave and, voila! the microwave turns on AND is now cooking food again.
How many of you would be willing to open up a microwave and tinker with its insides, with enough confidence that what you tinker with will actually fix it?
This last weekend, I return to my LA apartment only to find someone tried to force the door on my apartment, and the guy who tried to break in jams the lock so I can’t even open it. It’s late so no building staff are around, so I call a locksmith to work on it. He tries everything. He has this hook thing which he tries to pop the door handle from the inside. That doesn’t work. He tries to pry the door latch with a screwdriver. No dice. He then tells me that he needs to bring out the heavy equipment and drill out the lock and basically destroy it completely to get in.
I go, hmmmm…maybe that’s not a good idea. I don’t know how long it will take to fix it if the lock is completely destroyed and don’t want to risk leaving the door uncloseable. I tell him no, and I go find a hotel to sleep in.
The next morning I find the handyman and he goes up with me, and in 10 minutes he pops the door open with a screwdriver. Geez. Then he goes downstairs (always this downstairs thing…what, does every handyman have a secret magic cave where they store their mystical tools?) and comes back with a brand new lock assembly. He replaces it and now I’m back to having a working door, even if the door jam is a bit busted up. He does what a trained locksmith couldn’t do for 2 hours.
Amazing. Worship your handyman. They are Gods.